...

How is it that... in the span of two days, everything changed?

I knew I should have questioned Maemi's not going to school. I keep wondering why I didn't. Sure, I mean, she's okay. Nothing really happened to her, but I... never expected things to get so bad. I should have. I was so angry at myself the whole time, even though, again, nothing really happened...

First off, let me tell you that my head isn't on straight. Though I try to forget it, I had to go see my mother's therapist along with her when I was a kid, because of something I did. So, yeah, I know I'm a little off in the head. But my reasons for all of this happening make sense, damn it!

There were all these rumors going around today that Maemi-chan... killed herself. You know, along with all the shit about us being sluts, being looked at like I'm not even human anymore, that was a bit too much for me. When I saw these girls who pretty much made it their hobby to pick on me and Maemi or gossip about us or whatever the hell they decided to do, they had the nerve to say some really terrible things about Maemi, so I showed them how wrong they were.

I got in a fight with them, yeah. Not that it helped much. I only started believing what they told me about Maemi, that she was dead somewhere, and I lost it. I ran off and found myself in the Student Council room. And before you say anything about it, I... wasn't thinking about it, okay?

The whole problem is that... he came in later anyway. He saw me like that, crying and everything, and I ended up telling him everything about me. About Mom. About her attempted suicides with guns, with pills, by jumping off of a bridge. How Dad didn't care, how Hikaru didn't know what to do or that it was even happening... everything. I'd never told anyone before. I'm not even sure if it was the right thing to do, either, but I... figured I had to tell someone.

I'm still shaken up. At the same time, I... feel better, and I have to admit that it's because of Hidetoshi. If he hadn't helped me, I don't know where I'd be right now. I wouldn't have gone up to the roof, that's for sure. ...I'm too much of a coward for that. Hah, I've always been a coward, though. So I guess that's nothing new.

Still. He's one of the kindest men I've ever met in my life. I can't really deny that anymore.